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[17x8x05 ]
So far today I havent done anything. I've started my "cycle" and am in so much pain at the moment. Ive been wanting to go to the gym for the past couple of days but something always happens so I havent been able to go, I know its not that great of an excuse but hell, who wants to work out with cramps that hurt like hell? Anyways, I've taken a paracetamol (sp?) and hopefully they will go away soon.
I've got to sort out the flat and go to the grocery store by the time Cosmo gets off work which is in an hour and a half. He's ill too so I dont really want to leave him on his own but I might go to the gym later on. Actually I am going to. I need to if I want to lose 14 lbs in 4 weeks, by the time we go back to england. I know its a bit much but I'm determined to lose the weight I've gained by the time we go back. For awhile I wasnt feeling to well about myself and letting things get to me that I really shouldnt, but the last few days I have been feeling alot better and thinking positive. I'm happy being here and I'm happy being with Cosmo and I shouldnt let things get to me like I have done in the past. He treats me good and I know I can trust him (Although I have worried,because of my own insecurities etc) He hasnt done anything for me to worry about or given me any reason. Today when he left for work he said " I love you" which is the first time in awhile he has said it without me saying it to him first, that made me really happy. I know its not a big deal to some people and really he shouldnt have to tell me but its nice to hear the one you love tell you that they love you. Afterall this is the man I want to spend the rest of my life with. I know its a bit soon to talk about marriage or having children but the idea of being with him in that way someday and possibly having a family together makes me happy. He has mentioned things like that he would like to be with me in that way (marriage) in the past I just hope he feels the same about it, I dont like pushing the subject or asking about it because I'd rather see what happens, just hopefully I will be priviliged, no rush though. Hopefully I havent ruined it with my bitchy/whiney/moodiness the past few months (more than a few actually) I dont know what has been wrong with me or why I made myself so upset over nothing really. But I've really started to work on that and the past few days I have felt alot better with myself. Anyways, enough babbling. I need to do something with myself.

[18x5x05 ]
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[28x4x05 ]
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[16x4x05 ]

Kiwi Collapse )

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[24x3x05 ]
Mandy is the coolest!
i love you.

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